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Terry Real, LCSW


Men in Therapy:
Shame & grandiosity, empathy & accountability

Saturday February 2, 2019
9:00 - 5:00       $165/$140 until 1/11/19      7 CE hours
APA Level - Intermediate


We’ve all worked with troubled men who are irresponsible, oppressive, or emotionally absent—and dragged into therapy by their partners. This workshop will explore common themes of trauma and disconnection in many men’s lives and how it can translate into overt and covert depression, which, in turn, fuels frequent male issues of self-medication and sexual or aggressive acting out. Terry Real returns to UCI to present his newest work in effectively engaging men in therapy. His powerful approach integrates a high level of empathy while challenging their level of accountability. He will present a range of strategies to help men reconnect to their core self, be more accountable for their behavior, as well as focusing on their underlying vulnerabilities.

In this workshop, you’ll learn how to effectively work with issues of shame and grandiosity, as well as toxic engagement and disconnection. He will show how to apply different approaches with different personalities, including:

  1. The Boys—the sensitive “good boys” and the fiery “bad boys” who won’t grow into a mutual relationship or take on family responsibilities
  2. The Bullies—the grandiose men who control their partners and retaliate when they can’t maintain power
  3. The Avoiders—the damaged souls whose attachment injuries have left them unable to stay the course of a relationship

This workshop is designed to help you:

  • Avoid common missteps that trigger men to shut down in therapy, especially with female therapists
  • Apply techniques to enlist the best part of the man into an alliance with you
  • Assess the differences between shame & grandiosity and how best to intervene
  • Explain the distinction between overt & covert depression in men and how to
    treat it

Terry Real is a senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge, Massachusetts, and a Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona. He founded the Relational Life Institute in Boston. A couples therapist and renowned teacher for more than 25 years, he is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression; the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women; and, most recently, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work. Terry presents nationwide to professionals and gives frequent commentary to the media.