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Tammy Nelson

Tammy Nelson, PhD


Low-Desire & No-Sex Couples:
Rekindling the spark

Saturday October 5, 2019
9:00 - 5:00       $165/$140 through 9/20     7 CE hours


Many couples struggle with mismatched sexual desire—a formula for relational tension. When one partner is sexually dissatisfied and the other oblivious or dismissive, not only is sex a casualty but the quality of emotional connection also declines. This issue often emerges as part of couples therapy, yet most therapists are untrained in current approaches to sexuality.

This workshop will uncover where lack of desire originates in sexless and low-sex couples and how to treat desire discrepancy using contemporary treatment models. Through extensive clinical examples and videos, we’ll focus on three areas that are often at the root of low- or no-sex marriages: 1) pleasure resistance, 2) pleasure avoidance, and 3) pleasure rejection. The emphasis will be on the most effective strategies to help couples achieve sexual empathy, increase pleasure, and decrease anxiety around sexual performance. Strategies for different types of sexual relationships, straight and LGBTQ+, will be presented, including

You'll discover:

  • Techniques to work with couples around desire vs. arousal and performance vs. pleasure
  • The ins and outs of helping couples create monogamy agreements and other interventions for renewing low- and no-desire relationships
  • How attachment-based vs. individuation-based approaches compare when treating sexual dysfunction in couples
  • Clinical strategies for healing arousal dysfunction, renewing and rekindling desire, and integrating a trauma model into your work
  • How to address the three areas of pleasure disorder, and why they often involve issues around betrayal, trust, identity, and self-esteem

Participants will learn how to:

  • Use techniques for healing arousal dysfunction, renewing desire, and integrating a trauma model into your work
  • Apply techniques which focus on pleasure disorders rather than performance problems
  • Analyze current research on use of medications as part of therapy
  • Expand your skills in discussing sexual issues and helping your couples create new pathways for pleasure.
  • Compare attachment-based vs. individuation-based approaches when treating sexual dysfunction in couples
  • Discuss why pleasure disorders often involve issues around betrayal, trust, identity, and self-esteem

Tammy Nelson, PhD returns to UCI to share her depth and breadth of knowledge about sexuality. Her teaching style is clear, stimulating and replete with practical tools to integrate into your practice. Dr. Nelson is a Board Certified Sexologist and AASECT Certified Sex and Couples Therapist TEDx speaker. She is the author of several best-selling books for couples, including Getting the Sex You Want, The New Monogamy, When You’re the One Who Cheats. She is the Director and Founder of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute in Washington DC, and trains therapists throughout the globe. Dr. Nelson a frequent speaker at national conferences and is a featured expert in the NY Times, Men’s Health, and Time magazine. Plus, she writes for the Huffington Post.